*The author is a young woman born on 1991, thus making her a Generation Y, or “a person who reaches adulthood around the turn of 21st century”.
Dating has never been easy throughout the ages.
A few years ago, the dating scheme would still revolve around questions like “Who pays for the first date?” “Do I look presentable with this outfit for my first date?” or “Should I make a move first?”
Nowadays, the three questions still remains; however, more questions seem to arise, such as “This is our fifth date, does this mean we’re officially an item?”, “When should I ask her/him to move in?”, “When should we talk about sex and our boundaries?”, “We kissed on our third date, we reached second base on our sixth date, does that mean we’re dating?”, “Should I say the L-word to her?”, and the last but not least, “Should we go Facebook/Instagram/other social media official?”
The last one really piques my interest.
As a Generation Y, I live with social media. So far, I have Facebook, Instagram, Path (a social media popular among Indonesians), and Reddit account. I have considered myself to be ‘social media savvy’ enough with these accounts, although some people may still think I’m living under a rock because I don’t have Snapchat, Kik, Periscope, or Tinder account. It would be a lie if I said that I didn’t think social media as an important thing in my life. Through social media, I have the freedom to know my friends’ activities, and I also have the right to let people see or unsee my online presence.
The term “Facebook official” has been around since a few years ago. That time, the world was still in shock to know that we could actually show our relationship status online. Not just that, we could also tag the person whom we had our relationship with. I used to have a “Facebook official” relationship with my ex around 6 years ago. We were still in high school back then, and Facebook was still the hippest thing ever, of course it would be a shame if we didn’t go Facebook official!
It was something that ended along with our relationship a year later.
Nowadays, people don’t use Facebook official status anymore, but they tend to show that they’re going steady with posting their pictures with their partner on social media. I will hereby mention this phenomena as “going social media official”.
I don’t really blame the social media official couple. Really, I don’t. Deep inside, I always feel happy to see pictures of new couples, especially if it’s their first time going social media official and their friends begin to congratulate them on the comment box. It shows that other people still have the ability to be happy to hear someone else’s good news, right? However, my criticism starts when a couple breaks up, and with their relationship going off, so does their pictures on social media. They all disappear without any trace!
I recently encountered this kind of event. I was logging on Twitter, then I found a friend who posted a status that said she’s back to being single. I was a little bit startled because I knew this girl went out with my other college friend, and they had been going out for more than a year. Finally, out of curiosity, I went to her Instagram feed because I knew she liked uploading pictures with her then-boyfriend.
I was right. There were no pictures of them anymore.
Which left me with a very simple question dedicated to social media official couples out there: “When you’re in love, why did you shove your pictures to your online friends, only end up deleting them once the relationship is off?”
Forgive me if I’m wrong, but this shows how easy it is for Generation Y people to not treasure a relationship that lies just between the two of them. Personally, I’m the kind of person who doesn’t like to brag about my personal life, like… showing my boyfriend’s face on social media (Doesn’t mean that I’m on a relationship now!). I’d rather share the relationship just with him, or with people that matter around me like my family or my bestest friends. Therefore, I don’t think uploading pictures with my significant other as an important thing to do on social media, because I love having him only for me, and I love having the relationship only for the both of us.
Enough about me. Yes, that’s what I’m feeling lately. People begin to show their relationship on social media just for the sake of the likes and the comments. It’s not about the core of relationship anymore. When you’re thrilled on your first date, you write a status about it. When you’re having your first fight, you cry about it on social media. Eventually, when you break up, you delete all the pictures and the videos with your ex-partner. Why should you do that?
It’s your call to go social media official or not. However, just be responsible. Not everyone likes their relationship to become a public consumption. If your partner is the kind of person who falls into that category, respect their choice. And if you decide to go social media official, know the boundaries which memories are worth posting online, and which one is not. The most important thing is to keep the love alive between both of you, because you’re the only ones who are in the relationship.
Moral of the story: Don’t put too many pictures while you’re dating on social media. Once the relationship breaks off, of course you can delete the pictures, but can you really delete the memories?
To end this post, I’d like to post a video that hits you right in the feels, especially if your relationship is on online presence. I hope this will straighten my point of an online relationship for Generation Y.